It's my stop for the #NeverEvers blog tour! I am honoured to be here today and bring you guys a fun fantabulous post by our beloved writing duo - Tom Ellen & Lucy Ivison!
Having loved their novel, Lobsters, I was eager to jump on the #NeverEvers bandwagon and host a guest post to celebrate the release of the new snow-filled adventure that is sure to win every reader's hearts and have us laugh until we burst.
So get your woolly knits on, hats and scarves, the whole hog, and prepare for 5 Top Tips for School Trips brought to you by Tom and Lucy!
1. Keep all illicit materials well hidden. When I was about 13, I went on a school trip to France, and the main goal for most of us was to buy as many fireworks, ninja stars and general illegal objects as possible. This makes its way into Never Evers, as the boys are obsessed with buying bangers and other dodgy stuff from French newsagents. On my real-life school trip, our method for 'smuggling' our illicit material back into England was (we thought) quite ingenious: instead of putting it in our rucksacks (which were liable to be searched by teachers), we hid it in crisp packets. So, as we got on the coach, and walked past the teachers, we appeared to be chomping through packs of Salt 'n' Vinegar Walker's. But, really, each of our packets was stuffed with mini-fireworks and ninja stars. It worked - but I am certainly not advocating other people try it...
2. Get in with the teachers. This is one for the OLDER teen school trips. When Lucy and I were 17, we went on a school trip to La Rochelle in France. As sixth formers, we were supposed to be there to help supervise the 12 and 13-year-olds, but actually our main goal to was to get as drunk as possible. We managed to obtain some bottles of cheap French liquor, and made a very potent punch, which we enjoyed with our other sixth form friends once all the younger kids were safely in bed. However, one of the teachers heard us from across the hall, and came to see what was going on. Luckily, though, this was a teacher we had already established a good relationship with during the trip; talking and joking around with him, that kind of thing. He caught us with the booze, but since we were on good terms with him, he didn't confiscate it - just chuckled, told us to keep it down, and let us get on with it. Irrelevant yet interesting fact: that teacher was also the uncle of pop singer George Michael.
3. Sit in the middle of the coach. This is another tip we managed to work into Never Evers. Sitting at the front of the coach means you're way too near the teachers to have any actual fun; sitting at the back of the coach means the teachers will suspect you're up to no good, and therefore keep checking on you. However, sitting in the middle of the coach means you're able to basically get away with what you want. Although, the only drawback is that you're probably right next to that horrible, tiny little toilet. So, it's swings and roundabouts, really.
4. Get Real. Just because foreign boys are all exotic like, doesn’t mean they aren’t teenage boys. All that stuff about them speaking the language of lurve…I mean maybe it’s true but I haven’t seen any evidence of it.
5. Remove 80% of what you have packed. You aren’t going to wear those gold bejewelled flip flops walking round the Alps, and it isn’t possible to wear eighteen sets of pyjamas over three nights…
And there you have it! Hope you guys enjoyed that as much as I did! Thanks so much Lucy and Tom for stopping by and sharing your tips with us! Hope this helps those of you who are still in school! Easy on the mischief guys...
Check out this awesome video as Tom and Lucy introduce Never Evers to readers!